Old School Ties

With unseemly haste little snot Gove has been handed the keys to the school gates by the Lib Dims. The Bliar virus to which this coalition seems to have no immunity is at the heart of the Public Schools By Any Other Name measures read out by Liz 2 at yesterday's parliamentary panto. And why not? Fettes alumna Bliar will see his damaging Academy policy coming safely to full implementation by the Eton and Westminster boys at the heart of the 'new' government. Goodbye Universal State Education, hello Selection, Triple Tiering and Class. And shame on you 'Labour' opposition if you don't shout it down at every turn. The signs, including Balls on yesterday's Newsnight, are not encouraging.

Faceless

Who would have thought that having friends could be so dangerous?

Noel at work

This is Noel - in my experience most workplaces have one .

Maygay

Now we've all heard of the Damascus and Deathbed versions but this week saw the introduction of something entirely new - the Question Time Conversion. With Dimbleby Uno, Ming the Elder and Saint Shami of Liberty in attendance, the unlovely Theresa of Maidenhead came up against a gloriously awkward question: "How can this country move forward when the new Minister for Equality is against gays adopting and transsexuals changing their gender." After an initial attempt to suggest that her opposition was a thing of the distant past, this particular Tory lady proved that, post-coalition, she's well and truly up for turning and dumped a dozen years of official support for anti-gay legislation and a lifetime of anti-gay sentiment with almost unseemly haste. She did, of course, couch her new homophilic tendencies in terms of stable relationships and the primacy of family (i.e. no sex please unless you're Straight) but it was an outstanding moment. However - and I don't know about you - it did all appear to be a teensy weensy bit sudden. A bit awkward. Dare one suggest, a little bit convenient in the Age of Coalition and Hiding Your True Light under a pink or purple tie. Or, as Shami and Caroline Flint suggested, should we all shout "Yay!" at the repentance of a long time sinner?

Coalition Blues

A friend recently accused me of ranting too much on my blog. OUT BLOODY RAGEOUS!!! accusation if you ask me - but still..in the interests of civilised debate I'm going to tone things down a bit. So I'm not going to say anything about the sight of Little Nick sitting meekly by the Bully's side awaiting orders during today's parliamentary love-in. One should admire his rectitude and politesse, his willingness to put National before Party Political interest. His silence...Well done tiny Clegg...

Enter The Milibands

The process of detoxification begins. Will it be Dave or Ed or Ed or Ed to lead (no longer) New Labour into a bright new shiny future? Or will it be somebody else? Who else is there? Yvette and Harriet have said no which apparently means there are no viable female candidates. What about a non-white candidate - Chuka Umunna or Dianne Abbott (divisive but a multiple box ticker)? What about an old person - Lord Kinnock or a post-coalition Vince may be a good outside bet. Or what about an alien (or two). What about the Brothers From Another Planet in the picture above? Do share your thoughts with me...

Coalition Tea Party

So there we have it - Osbourne gets Chancellor, Hague gets Europe (sorry - Foreign Secretary) and fuck-me shoes Theresa gets the Home Office and Women. And that other lot - you know, the Dims - they get Deputy PM (non-job), Business something or other (not the Chancellor), Climate Change Secretary (how appropriate) and Scotland (ultimate poison chalice - Scots hate the Tories and the Dims). I suppose the only consolation for the ninny Clegg is that he gets to go back to work as a Conservative which is how his career began. The Tories must be laughing in their troughs at just how simple it was to persuade these little lambs to agree to their own slaughter.